Once I led my first past life regression for a client, they continued to show up in my readings over and over again. Soon I received a divine download instructing me to experience a journey into a past life of my own. An hour later, I jumped on a call for the women’s mastermind I was a part of where the guest speaker shared that a soul retrieval session had changed her life. It was as though a lightbulb went off in my whole body and I Googled: “What is a soul retrieval?” as she was still speaking. I discovered that it was a process to visit a past life via a shaman. By the time the call was over, I had already booked a session with a local shaman in Austin, Rami Abu Sitta.
Less than a week later as I was lying down in Rami’s living room. While he played an array of beautiful instruments, the soul of the baby I had miscarried—my daughter’s twin—took me into my soul’s past life. This sweet baby boy soul showed me several lifetimes that we had shared together in which we had changed our relation to each other but not our connection. He then brought me to a waterfall where he shared with me that he had always been a boy in our past lives together but he was ready to come back into this lifetime as a girl, as my daughter. Rami asked me to take something I wanted to bring forward into this lifetime and then to allow the other parts to burn away.
I left rejuvenated and deeply connected to myself. I had needed to allow these deep fears that had been buried in previous lifetimes to release in order to trust in this current lifetime. I was excited to return for another session a few weeks later to see what else we would uncover; however, each time I made an appointment, one of my daughters or I would get sick. As I went for a walk the day after I had to cancel yet again, I asked God why this was.
Instead of the usual reply I receive when asking God a question which is more of a matter of fact conversation, everything around me shifted and I struggled to tell if what I was seeing was real or imaginary. I lifted my foot high to step over a bush, not able to tell if it was in front of me in this lifetime or it was part of the past life that began to play out in front of me.
My daughter, London, was twirling around, head tilted to the sky, arms outstretched and dressed in long robes. Although she didn’t look at all like she looks in this current life, her voice sounded the same and I understood it to be her. “I don’t care!” she chanted into the air, “I just want to be free.”
“But,” an image of a girl a few years younger than her stepped forward, as though she had walked right out of me, her voice mimicking my own and I understood her to be me in this lifetime. “They’ll kill you,” I stammered.
“I don’t care,” her teenage self retorted, staring right at me and then turning back to the sky.
My vision blurred and then narrowed as a clear image of the future pressed forward above my third eye, that of men with stakes and fires ablaze to burn any and all witches.
Oh, this is my witch wound (a lifetime in which I was shunned, hurt or killed for my abilities in which I still hold pain to this day). My mind somehow processed this as my body stood awkwardly still on the side of the path. I urged my body to move forward so as not to look like a total lunatic on the hiking trail that I was standing upon in this lifetime.
“I don’t care,” London said again, and I registered that she was my older sister in this past life.
“Come on, you’re not going to change her mind,” said a soft voice that I recognized as my sister, Hanna’s, in this lifetime. She came forward and tugged gently on my arm. She appeared to be the eldest sister in this past life version of herself; whereas, in this lifetime, she is my younger sister. Despite my efforts to turn back toward London, I let Hanna lead me away.
Suddenly, in the next moment I watched London being taken away and burned.
Tears streamed down my face and I pushed my sunglasses closer to my eyes to prevent anyone seeing my physical form as I stayed engulfed in this 3D reality playing in front of me.
The vision shifted back to myself in this past life along with Hanna, and a baby sister all hiding together. I recognized this baby’s energy as my youngest daughter, Kyle, and immediately wanted to protect her even more. It became clear to me that all of us had abilities in a magical realm and mine was to see the future. Although we had lost one sister, I was hoping to keep everyone else safe.
Then a young boy, our younger brother, entered the scene and I immediately knew he was my husband in this lifetime. He was stopped by the same men who had taken London and they threatened him. He also had powers that were developing and he was scared to be exposed. Another future glimpse entered my awareness of the self existing in this past lifetime, just as my self existing in the current lifetime tripped over my own foot.
My feet thudded loudly as I caught my balance and glanced around, noticing that I could make out a layer of mist that separated these two realities. Just then as I was sucked back into the past lifetime, with the vision of the future coming forward. “You have to run,” I told my eldest sister. “Protect the baby and yourself at all costs, they’re coming.”
She resisted, not wanting to leave and also not wanting the sole responsibility of raising our baby sister on her own, but I insisted. They disappeared into the woods just as my brother led the men to me. I was burned at the stake as he watched with tears streaming down his face. I glimpsed my two sisters who had escaped death as my body disintegrated along with the entire image.
Suddenly, I was back in this lifetime again on the hiking trail, the sun streaming down through the trees as the wind rustled my hair. My eyes searched for the mist again but it had vanished along with the entire past life. My feet continued to carry me until I settled at the dock on the lake, ready to process what I had seen.
I noticed that I still related to all of my family members who were present in the past lifetime in the same way in this lifetime. I had been afraid since we lost my daughter, London’s twin in utero that I would lose her too, and, no matter what, the fear loomed over me time and time again. My sister and I always had tension with me telling her what to do. And as soon as my youngest daughter, Kyle, entered my womb, I had an intense mama bear protection around her. While with my husband, I found myself defending or protecting myself even when it didn't particularly make sense to do so. The past life view allowed me to see that I was treating them the same as I did in the past lifetime and that I no longer need to carry it forward. Just as the shaman had instructed me to bring something forward and leave the rest behind, I chose to take forward the gratitude for our relationships and the trust in each of our unique abilities and to leave the fear, the doubt and the grief behind.
I then focused on the concept of my witch wound and what it meant to have magical abilities and realized how sharing these with the world in this lifetime brings on a fear of death, not only for myself but for those that I love. In order to free this fear, I decided to take with me from this past lifetime the trust that my abilities were spot on with what I saw was coming and to release the fear that leaning into these abilities will bring harm.
I took a deep breath of crisp air and let my feet dangle into the cool lake water, and, for the first time, I understood that my current lifetime is about living into the magic and releasing the pain that has been associated with it. Instead of walking, it was more like floating, as I headed home with the trust and understanding of my path.
This past life regression helped me free parts of me that had felt stuck for a long time around stepping into my belief in myself, and I find that past life regressions appear for myself and clients when other solutions don’t seem to be working. If you’re looking for a hidden answer in order to understand and let go, a 1:1 session with me is a great first step in your exploration. I’d be honored to walk this journey with you!
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